Reflecting on Genesis 15: Obedience and hearing God’s voice

Prepare for what was mostly post-midnight stream-of-consciousness, full of fragments, run-on sentences, and poor punctuation. It’s not coming out the way I felt it originally, but I’m done dwelling on it alone. It’s time to share, even in it’s incomplete form.

I was reading in Genesis 15 where Abram questions whether God’s promise for a son would really be fulfilled. In response, God tells Abram to make a sacrifice. Abram obeys. He diligently protects the sacrifice from scavengers and carries out God’s instructions until he becomes exhausted and falls asleep. Everything grows dark and scary. Following Abram’s uncertainty, firm obedience and exhaustive efforts, God speaks, reminding Abram of his promise.

Sometimes life is like that for me. When I think I’ve heard God say something about my life, path, family, future and start to ask questions, it’s not usually the direct answer or reassurance I hear back. God usually just instructs me to follow some directions. Then, I have a choice: do my own thing or obey.

Am I willing to obey the instructions the Lord gives me from the small details to the actions we often deem as “grand” leaps of faith? My mind and heart, say yes. But my often lazy sack of flesh and bones fights.

But what about when there’s sacrifice involved? When it’s not easy to fit into my daily habits, my preferred routine, or isn’t the response I was looking for, am I willing to acknowledge that the task or action requires sacrifice? That’s where the rubber meets the road. And if I’m not willing, my actions will display that clearly, regardless of my heart’s and mind’s attempt to say “yes!”

What if the answer is “no?” If the sacrifice required isn’t something I’m willing to do, and obedience to a God who doesn’t always say what I expect is too much of a burden, then I’m missing the entire point. In fact, I don’t trust God at all. But that topic might need to be part of a future conversation we have.

The point to all this obedience and sacrifice talk is that God’s strategy and timing is so far out of my league that even when I’ve chosen to obey and begin doing so, I sometimes get so tired and fall asleep trying to carry out the instructions I’ve received. Sometimes, it gets scary because I wonder what’s happened or why I don’t see His promise fulfilled yet. But when I’ve given all I have, even exhausted myself, for the sake of seeking who He is – He speaks. And I get to see a little more of the plan. This is something that caught my attention because of the way it’s playing out  in my own life lately. Maybe you have experienced something along these lines in your relationship with God.

I’m a big believer that while God’s truth and His characteristics are unchanging, His approach with each of us is unique. Maybe you’ll reflect personally, talk with a close friend, or share for us to learn from and alongside you, but I’m interested to know: has he established a style of interaction with you that you often see repeated in some way? In your experiences with Him, what does the process of hearing His voice in your life look like? And if you’re feeling adventurous: What hurdles do you come up against in the process?

Well, I’m back.

Dear Friends,

There’s so much to share with you about the past month. As I put this post together, it’s surreal that a year has gone by since the week I let my “stable” employment gig go and jumped into the next step of God’s calling on my life. I feel like I should be apologizing for my inconsistency with blog updates. The truth of it all is that there doesn’t ever seem to be the right way to put it all into words. The following snippets of life occurrences are my attempt to share with you pieces of my journey – and although one section of the road I’ve traveled grows further from me in distance, I pray the lessons God taught me (the hard ones and fun ones) will stay close to my heart and forever a part of who I am.

So read on…here is just a little of what’s been going on.

English presentation

So proud I am. Those kids did an amazing job! There were songs, dialogues and mini-skits. I’m not sure how many family and friends came to see the kids’ show, but I think I heard the number 200+ thrown out there at one point. All I know is the auditorium was full of proud parents nudging each other to say, “That’s my kid.” The smiles on the kids’ faces were beaming once they’d completed what we’d been working on so hard. I gave each student a certificate of completion for their work in our English course this year. Writing 95 4-part names took a while, but was worth it.

After the program, some 7th and 8th grade helpers served “typical American snacks” to our guests and students. Starting 3 days before the show and strategically cooking up 2-300 servings of chicken salad and crackers, deviled eggs, PB&J sandwiches and an Oreo/white chocolate dessert made for a lot of happy mom’s asking me how to make the different dishes. Paraguayans love mayonnaise, so they really wanted to know how to make the chicken salad and deviled eggs.

Praise the Lord for a successful event and happy memories. You always know you’re planting seeds and investing with purpose, but it was a blessing for me to actually SEE some fruit from the time we spent in class through all the ups and down of the school year.

My last day in Paraguay

The Sunday morning of my flight date, 3 of the girls from the home were being baptized. They had asked me to be there. Luckily, the times worked out so that I had plenty of time to attend. Their baptisms was so beautiful. The Spirit of the Lord was very present. Each girl had the chance to state their name and declare before the church their reason for baptism, their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. You may remember their names in pictures I’ve posted before: Nilda, Lysa, and Sole.

Immediately after church, I made a run to the store for some last minute things and was off for lunch with some dear Paraguayan friends. Finally, it was one last run through the house, a goodbye hug with each of the kids, and a sweet farewell at the Asuncion airport with several folks who meant a lot to me during my time in Paraguay.

God’s rave in the sky

Boarding the plane from Buenos Aires to Atlanta, we knew storms were forecasted for at least part of our trip. That didn’t really bother me. Actually, it intrigued me. So I said to God, “You know, if you will just send your angels to take care of us in the air and make sure we aren’t struck by lightening, I’d just like to see lighting from this altitude…yea, that would be beautiful.” Then, I shared my hope that God would let us see lighting while we’re going through the storm with my Argentine seat buddy. A little later, we had about a 2-hour lightening show. To one side the colors were dark oranges and shadows illuminating the sky almost without a break between each flash. And to the back left from my window were bright yellows and whites, lighting up its part of the sky as if it was mid-day. The contrast was beautiful. What a gift to see from that height!

The first few days

Day 1 was a breeze. Even arriving in Atlanta and having to make a baggage claim for my duffle with a huge hole ripped out turned into the airline rep saying, “I’ve sent a check to that address, so don’t worry about doing reimbursement paperwork. It will just be on its way.” Being on interstates where people stay in their lanes for the most part, arriving to my house where things were cozy and in order, seeing people I love…it was great. There was a welcome home sign in my house and flowers on my table from Momma. Leigh had made a grocery run to make sure I had the basics: fruit, crackers, other fun snacks and, of course, Mello Yello!

Then days 2, 3, 4…started coming. I just felt awkward. People were so welcoming and loving but I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin for some reason. That is until I went to lunch with my sister at a restaurant where she works. There were her 4 Hispanic co-workers who I got to talk to for a bit in Spanish. We sat down and the conversation went this way:

Me: Wow, I feel so much better all the sudden. (Deep breath of relief)

Tarah: Well, yea! You just got to speak Spanish. (With “duh” tone)

It’s amazing how it clicked and put me back in my element. Man, I love that language.

Joy and thanksgiving

The Lord is so good. He keeps on filling my heart with a gratitude. I love the way the Spirit is allowing me to know His presence so intimately and sweetly every day. You know the Scripture about entering his presence with thanksgiving? Well, on a drive back to Cleveland, I was reminded of a prayer I prayed on a certain stretch of I-24 back in January. Remembering how God answered and sent provision within minutes of that prayer, I began to praise Him and thank Him for his unfailing faithfulness and attention to my smallest and greatest needs. Then, I found my heart excitedly and passionately inviting Him to show off in this next stage of my life that people will see who He is!

This journey isn’t about me. It never has been. But it’s so wonderful that He let’s me take part in what He has planned. And knowing a small bit of how He’s done so thus far has only whet my appetite for running with Him so much farther. Just as I thought the little red pickup truck may burst for not being able to contain the presence of the Lord, hundreds of birds rose up from the woods on the left of the road. I’m not talking a little V-shaped formation of geese or a cute little line of birds. I mean crazy explosion of more birds flying more closely and chaotically together than I’ve ever seen in my life. Their rectangular group came toward where I was driving and hung out around me for a while. Sometimes, you just know in your spirit when God’s giving you a gift or saying, “I’m with you.”

Time with family and friends

Home just days before Thanksgiving meant getting to see 50+relatives in Granny’s little living room. It meant finally getting to give and get hugs that can be awkwardly long and perfect without having to have a care in the world.

My first night at home was a dream come true thanks to the best friends in Cleveland, Tenn., a person could ask for. I made them a traditional Paraguayan supper and we spent the night on the front porch drinking tereré, which they all tried without griping about the fact we share the same straw in this customary, community-oriented Paraguayan drink.

Thank you to supporters

Looking at this journey, it’s necessary to say thank you to those of you who consistently lifted me up in prayer, made the Skype calls to offer your counsel, encouragement, and love, and offered financial support. I felt your spiritual support with me strongly, and the Lord gave me such peace and contentment while I was there.

Some have asked what’s next. Primarily, I’m focussed on searching out opportunities to further my knowledge of the Spanish language. I’m meeting with folks who have wisdom and ideas to share with me. And I’m wide open to wherever and whatever the Lord has. Meanwhile, if you would like to continue sending financial support to the Serving Paraguay ministry just make sure you’re no longer putting my name in the memo line. Instead, you can designate it for any particular part of the children’s home or school you’d like it to go toward. If nothing is placed in the memo line, I believe it will just be used as part of the general fund.

Again, thank you for your faithfulness. I pray God bring you to a more beautiful place of knowing Him than you’ve ever known.

Thank you to the folks in Paraguay

To each person who accepted me into their lives while I was in Paraguay and extended their friendship and love, thank you for the precious memories I’ll always have. To the Hogar team who continues to serve the children of Hogar Ganar, thank you for the opportunity to work alongside you this year. I pray blessing, wisdom, and strength for each of you as you continue in your work.//

A los quienes me aceptaron como parte de sus vidas cuando estaba en Paraguay y me dieron sus amistades, gracias por las memorias preciosas. Las tendré por siempre. A los quienes estan trabajando en el Hogar para servir a los ninos allí, gracias por la oportunidad trabajar con ustedes este ano. Le pido a Dios su bendicion, sabiduría, y fuerza mientras siguen en sus trabajos.

Lights, camera… and 95 kids

Teddy bears and dolls, pizza and the circus. Our end-of-year English class presentations may not include fancy lights or high-tech cameras for the matter, but they are sure to make for an interesting event in just four weeks.

Today, we spent our time together in class previewing our individual class plans.

The smaller kids will have some interactive roles to show off their new vocabulary and short sentences on the topics of colors, toys and clothes to name a few. My middle age-group will sing some songs and act out short dialogues. They’ll also engage the audience with intriguing animals and adjectives routines. Afternoon classes which consist of 4th through 8th grades will act out riveting 30-second to 4-minute skits based on vocabulary sets and unit topics we’ve covered this year.

That’s right. Intriguing. Riveting. Prepare to be amazed.

Meanwhile, I’m digging into the recesses to pull up the organizational skills which once possessed me so strongly.

The kids are so excited to show their families and neighbors what they’ve worked on all year. Of course, they’re enjoying the chance to give me suggestions on what vocabulary sets and story lines to incorporate into the scripts.

So far, so good. I hope this experience will further instill in my students a sense of accomplishment for all their work this year, give them a boost of confidence, and deepen their desires to keep achieving.

Keep us in your prayers these next few weeks. Specifically that:

1. I can wrangle 95 kids into a school performance.

2. We all have a great time and live to tell about it.